Why Is Dating So Hard These Days
Life as a single person offers many rewards, such as being free to pursue your own hobbies and interests, learning how to enjoy your own company, and appreciating the quiet moments of solitude. However, if you’re ready to share your life with someone and want to build a lasting, worthwhile relationship, life as a single person can also seem frustrating. Make sure you aren’t approaching dating with a closed mind. Jackson says some people can get so hung up on finding someone who fits their predetermined “type” that they miss out on an ideal mate.
By the time you’re in your 30s, you likely have enough data to recognize patterns in your dating life. According to Moyo, those trends mean something. If the trend is positive, work to recreate those circumstances.
My fear of commitment is undoubtedly rooted in my parents’ divorce, and my knee jerk reaction for years was to run away any time a woman attempted to get close to me. I slowly eroded that fear by opening myself up to intimate opportunities little by little over a long period of time. I was incapable of becoming intimate with a woman unless I had an escape route (i.e., she had a boyfriend, or I was going to move to another city soon, etc.).
If it doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be. The important thing is that you put yourself out there. Your past has shaped who you are, but it doesn’t have to be your present or future. Instead, focus on what is happening now and look where you are going next. “All of our previous partners and the previous partners of our are allies in our growth and healing,” says Gray.
We need to understand that we’re all accountable to each other in this life and that our happiness is dependent on our ability to care for one another. I have met some nice blokes on dates in Manchester, three of which I’ve become friends with and hang out with from time to time still. So far, internet dating has been great for making friends, but sparks have only flown with people who live over the Pennines or up the M62. To that end, finding a relationship over 40 often involves technology—from swiping through potential matches on dating apps to communicating with possible partners via text or DM. And over-40 daters may not love that newer aspect of the game.
She fights her reluctance to go on dates arranged through OkCupid, and ends up enjoying some of them. Witt lets one of these women talk her into doing her own show, though Witt is too nervous to do more than chat with a man who is lying in bed naked except for a pair of Ray-Bans. So, you can apply as many “standards” and expectations as you want, but at the end of the day, you have to be yourself and hope to find someone you can connect with this way. So keep it simple, be a nice person, be bold, and have confidence. Remember, dating really boils down to one thing, mutual attraction. At the end of the day, there’s no way to fake this.